faith trust and pixie dust

sombre post

2012-02-04T23:08:00.000-08:00

Hi guys...

so yesterday i was actually quite depressed because well partly cos i'm pms-ing.

yesterday was the results( i guess you can call it that) of the auditions for drama syf and i didn't get into the cast

i expected it but y'know there's always that lil bit of hope inside.

i'm not entirely depressed bcos i didnt get to be a part, i've just been feeling a little low in confidence and self esteem lately and that just really added more to my insecurities.

But i'm typically an optimistic person, i try to see the silver lining or look on the bright side of things after allowing myself a few tears of self pity.

Then, on top of the pressures of life in other forms that have been weighing down on me,

i just received news yesterday that a childhood friend of mine has passed away.

It sucks to know that someone so young had passed on.

It just shows how life is unpredictable.

your days are numbered.

the only thing confirmed in life is death.

May he rest in peace.

CNY trip to KL!

2012-01-29T00:36:00.000-08:00

CNY KL trip

this was long overdue.

well anyway i went to kl during the cny holidays. i really didnt want to go but im glad i did!

so basically shopping shopping shopping!

This was taken on the first night.i was extremely exhausted but i still had enough energy to camwhore for abit. Lol

Then i decided to try on the green cropped top that i got from forever 21! Im madly in love with it. Its definitely pricey for a plain top but i think its worth it!

my mom liked it alot too that she asked my sister to get one for her.

hers is a brick orange colour. it's very pretty too.

Below is a picture of Omar. My mom is giving him a bath in the hotel sink.(cos the bathtub was too big)

I swear when i saw this tag at the first glance i thought it said 'forever alone'

i must be a sign.

Second day, another camwhore shot.

wearing my green top!

I don't have much pictures of the second day though....we went to eat satay and shop! and eat and shop! and eat and shop! and so on...

Third day, another self shot.

my makeup and some accessories as well as my dad's kain sarong is in the back.

picture of my eye make up (using the naked palette by urban decay!)

hey there :B

oh and i happened to see this guy while we on the road. he kept bending down while riding the motorbike. its only when we got closer that i realize that he was bending down to eat his burger. -.-

stopped at the petrol kiosk.

i was talking about something really funny with my mom but I completely forgot what it was about.

LOL

here's a snapshot of my delicious meringue.

(lol ok its not that delicious lah! its fine, you know...sweet)

mmm yum.

i accidentally broke it into pieces.

here it is in its wrapper and not in pieces!

oh yeah btw, in case you didn't already see it...this meringue was bought from harrod's.

i've NEVER been in the shop previously although i have been tempted to go in SO MANY TIMES! it just looked so cool and posh! and i finally went in and this was the only thing i thought was reasonably priced.(lol actually no...its not reasonable to pay 4 bucks for a rose meringue but its reasonable compared to EVERYTHING ELSE.) My mom offered to get it for me too so, i got a meringue. i would have been more than happy just stepping into the shop actually!

(however now that i've been in the shop, i wouldn't go in again.)

in ze tunnel

i have no idea why these pictures are distorted.

here are some yummy cupcakes that i have been DYING to try since forever and my mom finally got them for me! they are okay....the chocolate one is the best!

would i buy them again? nope. never.

OH OH and my dad got for me this!

BEST BUY OF THE ENTIRE TRIP!

i actually wanted the concert dvd but he got me this instead.

BUT ITS OKAY! I'M MORE THAN HAPPY!

i love adele's songs but when i listened to her whole album, damn this girl can SING.

i love her even more and i even got my parents hooked to her songs ;)

this was taken on the first day.

imtiyaz was running in circles in and out of my room and my sister's through the adjoining bathroom. he was chasing after me until i finally reached behind him and began chasing him instead. (do you get what i mean?) it was so fun.

and finally this is a pic of me holding omar in the car. i think this baby got hooked to adele too :)

anyways it was a fun trip! i bought a few stuff, lots of food. a top and bracelets from forever 21. a pair of green shoes and adele's album.

i'm a happy girl!

cant wait for the next holiday! hopefully we'll go to different parts of malaysia and try somehing different. As much as I love Kl and the shopping and THE FOOD there....I do want to see other parts. Try other cool activities...do touristy stuff.LOL.

yeah so i hope one day i'll be able to go, if not with my family then i might just save up to go there on my own ;)

update on my unibrow

2012-01-28T01:35:00.000-08:00

lol now that i've calmed down from the initial rage about my unibrow...

i've plucked them off with tweezers.

Btw, my mom said they weren't obvious, so did my dad.

my sister also has a unibrow(though its not as obvious) and so does my brother.

it runs in the family T-T

only my mom doesn't have a unibrow...

however i tweezed them off anyway because to ME it was obvious...and now i feel better.

p.s. after reading the previous post i realized what a dramamama i was. its just a unibrow. lol

upset(rant)

2012-01-27T20:52:00.000-08:00

this morning i woke up and decided to look in the mirror and i realized that i grew a unibrow.

and i started crying because...well i'm upset.

i don't want to have a unibrow...if you do then that's your choice.

i was perfectly happy with not having a unibrow and i woke up to find out that hairs have sprouted between my brows overnight.

i have always been insecure about my looks and i had to deal with it all the time. now i deal with my insecurities a lot better and suddenly i have a unibrow.

so i called a few friends to sob and cry and whine and complain.

and most of them said you know, pluck, shave, wave, ipl...etc etc.

but they don't understand.

i don't really care about having the unibrow.(thats a lie.i do...)

but what i really care about is

HOW DID I FUCKING SPROUT HAIRS BETWEEN MY EYEBROWS OVERNIGHT.

like what caused it?

over 18 years of my life...i was happy with my brows..i never shaved, plucked, waxed them.

they were left alone!

then how in the world did these hairs just appear?

is it hormones? is it just some random chance these hairs were like ' hey! its time for me to pop up!'

why are they there when they never were there in the first place?

wtfbbq.

i want you gone! don't ever come back!

p.s. my sister and my mom are making fun about it. yeah. nice... family just takes everything you are insecure about and just throw it back in your face.

Makeup!(this is a very wordy post about makeup)

2012-01-24T03:39:00.000-08:00

HI GUYS!

So today(I lied, its actually been over a week now), I received the

elf stuff that I've ordered.

I was super duper excited to share it with (well whoever that reads this blog.)!

I had to restrain myself from blogging about it straight away.

why?

I really wanted to test the products out first before I posted about them!

so this is the first product that I got.

the elf mineral blending eye brush.

I'm not sure of the price of the brush...it was on sale but the price at the website currently states that its for 5 dollars.

initially I wanted the

elf gem blending eye brush.

Well, for obvious reasons. Its pink and covered with rhinestones but they were sold out. T-T

So anyway I've tested this product for a few times and I must say its pretty good! However I can't give a good 'review' I guess because its the only blending brush that I have. Normally I would just use a fluffy eyeshadow brush but this blending brush works much better of course! Maybe I should get the elf gem brush now that its in stock...then I can give a good comparison.

nonetheless, it does the job and its affordable.

the next item I got is the

BRUSH CLEANER!

this product I've tested out on different brushes...

On the elf blending brush, it worked great. A couple of sprays, about two or three and you can see makeup coming off the brush...swirl on a clean tissue or wet wipes and the brush is clean!

However, when i tested it out on regular flat eyeshadow brushes,(the ones i bought from sasa) it didnt work as well. :(

Not all of the makeup came off...it took alot more swipes for the brush to be cleaned and it took longer to dry as well..

So i will try that out a few more times and see how it works.

Again i forgot how much this thing costs me..

Well just as a side note, I thought I would share a method I use to clean my brushes besides buying a brush cleaner.

I watched a video from a youtube guru who shared how he cleaned his brushes with alcohol. He used 90% alcohol to clean them...so I decided

to try it and went to scout for alcohol to clean my brushes with.

I use 80% alcohol that you can buy from drugstores.(costs about 2-3 dollars)

It cleans your eyeshadow brushes really really well! For bigger brushes it would take longer to dry of course...for normal eyeshadow brushes it takes about a minute or two to dry so its great for cleaning your brushes. Of course you should wash them as it would really deep clean your brushes but this method is good if you want to save on time. Personally my brushes still work the same, they aren't damaged or whatsoever:)

Most of all I would like to thank my sister for getting this stuff for me!

She's been awesome and getting me all sorts of makeup products(including the naked palette from urban decay!).

I really have to pay her back or get her some awesome gifts in return!

Oh and she also bought a ton of stuff from elf

Basically their makeup brushes that are about a dollar each?

she also got the eyeshadow palette!

IT IS INSANELY HUGE!

From the pictures on the website, I really really doubted

the quality and the colours look like they would turn out chalky and they AREN'T!

they are super bright

and the palette was much bigger than expected.

so overall I would say that I'm satisfied with the stuff that I got from elf, except for the brush cleaner...the 80% alcohol works better in my opinion and it costs less. The only good thing about the elf brush cleaner is the spray nozzle.

I will ask my sister to give me her thoughts on her purchases and update again!

p.s. I will be posting about my holiday to Kl and be posting up pictures of goodies that I bought! So if you want to see how my trip was, stay tuned!

tests tests tests

2012-01-18T07:45:00.000-08:00

Hi whomever who reads my blog.still.

so lately, I've been getting tested alot.

not in terms of like examinations in school and such.

Everytime I'm resolved to do something like ...

for instance, lose weight.(this is of course just a random example.)

when i'm determined to diet and exercise...there is always obstacles i have to face like....not enough time to exercise...too many delicious food.etc etc.

(again let me state that that is just an example.)

i will do my best to fulfill my vows and promises that i have made to myself and God and overcome all these obstacles.

inshallah.

School year has begun

2012-01-15T20:11:00.000-08:00

enough said.

new beginnings

2012-01-14T18:00:00.000-08:00

I still have no idea who in the world still reads this blog...

well anyway, hello 2012!

I have all sorts of things to say but first I guess I'll do my resolutions because,

1.)I've not done it yet.

2.)What better way to start a new blog post in a new year!

from the top of my head here are some new year's resolutions that I have.

I'll come up with 20.

any more than that would be unrealistic for me to abide by.

oh gosh, I need to stop rambling.

so here it goes.

1.) EXERCISE!

I really need to because I'm such a slob...Exercising will really get me moving and doing more stuffs. Also I really need to trim down because I've been eating really unhealthy. On top of that, NAPFA is coming and I really don't want to fail 2.4 again...That was completely embarrassing so i definitely do NOT want to repeat that!

2.)Stop being so lazy.

I really need to do this. It really is for my own good...but the truth is I don't know how to start! T-T

3.) Eat healthy.

I am the most unhealthy person on earth. I eat a TON of food and i don't exercise...I eat fast food, junk food, processed food(kind of unavoidable) and I have a demon stomach. So enough said.

4.) Be more receptive to people.

This is a problem I have for the longest time and I'm doing my best to change.

I can be very self centered and also not open to other's inputs so i really want to change this aspect of myself.

5.) PRAY

This is compulsory! I am ashamed to admit that I get lazy,forget or do not prioritize my prayers. This year I really really want to take the step to bring myself closer to God. so what better way than to start on the obligatory.

6.) Be more patient with my parents.

or anyone as a matter of fact. However I feel that i should be kinder to them and more patient with them especially. They are my parents after all so I shall bite back any remarks.

7.) Stop being so vulgar.

I use profanities very regularly in my life and I want to stop. Its not cool, its not nice or polite and its also very unbecoming of a lady. Also I have nephews that I don't want to have a negative influence on. so no more profanities. I'll pinch myself every time i catch myself swearing.

8.) Study

Last year I made the mistake of not studying...So this year I shall change. After all, if you keep doing the same thing and expect different results, thats crazy.

9.) Start writing

I love to write! I always have but I've always been my biggest oppressor. On top of being told that I'm not good enough by other people, I add on to that by telling myself that I can't do it. Not creative enough, not good enough.

So this year I shall stop telling myself that I can't and start believing that I can.

10.) Stop comparing myself to others.

I know that everyone is different and all that but I can't help it sometimes. So this year, I shall remind myself to not care and to just be ME.

so....

that is all for my resolutions.

I know I said that I would do twenty but I can't...

Also, I know resolution number 2 is to stop being so lazy but i really just can't think of twenty things I want to do this year.

really!

Anyway even with this ten this post is super long winded...

so that's all for my ten new year's resolution!

see you guys soon xx

hi! idk who reads this blog but here is an update about my day.

2011-10-21T04:45:00.000-07:00

Today I.....

woke up, showered,ate, slept in the car, reached school.

had literature, played taboo with the class.won taboo with my group(credits to aly)

then went for PE where i sat out the entire lesson because i had a medical cert.

then went to eat...one samosa and one curry puff.

went for htp..

which was at the hall and there was a performance for deepavali.

it was interesting and scary.

sarah tattooed my hand during this performance.

after ,i went to puke out my lunch and went home to eat lunch and puked that out also.

and i havent eaten anything since.

so that's my entire day summed up for you.

and i need to go puke.

bye!

family

2011-09-08T16:30:00.000-07:00

our love hate relationship.

it puzzles me most of the time.

I hate the fact that there are so many of us , i am a person that likes my space.

In this house there is never enough space.

oh well. gotta wait till i have the money then i'll take it and run.

haiz.. only time will tell.

feelings, why do you exist?

2011-07-26T14:04:00.001-07:00

Sometimes i think that i think too much.

I seem to be able to torture myself and over think the smallest things.

My paranoia then makes way for my unreasonable behavior.

I know that I'm not the friendliest or the nicest person around but i always try to be.

In a room full of friends I sometimes feel completely alone.

Maybe it's just me, i don't know.

Anyways, I'm afraid and have always been afraid of this-

because it keeps happening to me all the time.

Why can't i be normal?

(sorry for all the incoherent thoughts. i just feel confused.)

Nobody is perfect

2011-07-25T05:37:00.001-07:00

nobody is perfect.

(not even this lil fella.)

Let me just reflect on my results for promo 1.

Well, i did shitty and I know why.

I DIDN'T STUDY!

lol what else is new?

However, honestly I feel disappointed with myself.After all I've went through in the past haven't i learnt anything at all? Not studying was the stupidest thing i could ever do.

Nevertheless, whatever that has passed is gone and there is nothing i can do about it.On top of that, the receiving my results wasn't a shocker to me nor was i disappointed.

If i expected to pass , I'm only deluding myself.

So i have decided to put in my all and make sure that i don't repeat this mistake THRICE.

in addition, being in school has made me more weary of my surroundings.Sometimes i feel like i can't breathe because there is a heaviness in my chest weighing down my spirit.

I'm just so....weary.

well, i actually wanted to make a really really long post about other stuffs but my eyes are drooping shut at this point. I guess i shall update another day yeah?

beauty sleep comes first. Health is a number one priority.

okay there i go rambling again.

goodnight my lovelies :)

A new beginning

2011-07-25T05:32:00.000-07:00

I've had this blog for ages, since 2008 in fact but i deleted all of my posts in order to start fresh.

I know having this blog is also another way of recording my thoughts and feelings but sometimes it's best to leave the past in the past and move forward.

anyway i have all the memories worth remembering locked in a secret vault somewhere in my mind so a blog is not really necessary for recording my thoughts.

anyways...this is sort of an intro to my new(old) blog. I don't even know who reads it still but nevermind here it is anyway! :D